How to write a eulogy
If you are here, you are probably grieving and short on time. A eulogy does not need to cover a whole life. It needs to help the people in the room recognise the person they have lost, through a few true details, and give them permission to smile and cry. Take it one step at a time; you can write this.
- 3–6 mintypical length
- 390–780words at 130 wpm
- 4 partswho you are · their essence · what they gave · farewell
- 1 Occasion
- 2 Your memories
- 3 Edit & rehearse
Your draft appears here, on the card, ready to edit.
Already have a speech? Paste it here and ask for feedback, a shorter version or a stronger ending.
The structure of a eulogy
Tap each part to see what it does and where it sits in this sample. The bar shows how the sample divides its time: the story gets the most room, the ending the least.
1. Who you are
Introduce yourself and your relationship. It orients the room and steadies you.
In this sample: 21 words, about 0:10 spoken, 15% of the speech.
I’m David, Maggie’s son. Thank you all for being here; Mum would have counted heads and worried there weren’t enough sandwiches.
Mum was a nurse for thirty-five years, and she never really stopped. She kept a tin of toffees by the front door for every child on our street, and a first-aid kit next to it, because she knew which one they would need first. She sang in the car, loudly and slightly wrong, and she never once let us turn the radio down.
What she gave us was the certainty that someone was always paying attention. Many of you here were looked after by her at some point, on a ward or at her kitchen table.
Mum, we will keep the tin full. We will sing in the car, badly. Thank you for everything. We love you.
How to write a eulogy, step by step
- Talk to family and friends; ask each for one memory or a word that describes them. You don’t have to do this alone.
- Pick two or three qualities that come up again and again.
- Find one small, specific story for each quality. Small is better than grand.
- Write it in your own voice, as if talking to the room. Three to six minutes, roughly 400–800 words.
- Print it in a large font, mark pauses, and have a backup reader ready in case you need a moment.
- Use their name often
- Include a light moment; laughter is part of grief
- Print your text in large type
- Pause and breathe when you need to
- Try to cover their entire life story
- Read their CV or obituary aloud
- Air family conflicts
- Worry about crying; everyone understands
Eulogy questions
How long should a eulogy be?
Three to six minutes, about 400 to 800 words. If several people speak, agree a limit with the funeral director or celebrant, often three to five minutes each.
What if I break down while giving the eulogy?
Pause, breathe, take a sip of water. The room is with you. Many people arrange a backup reader who has a copy and can step in if needed.
Is it OK to use humour in a eulogy?
Yes, if it reflects the person. A gentle, affectionate memory that makes people smile is often the most healing part of a funeral.
Can AI help me write a eulogy?
It can help you get past the blank page by organising your memories into a structure. The words that matter most, the specific details, must come from you and the family. Nothing you type here is stored on our servers.